Semi-Related Monster Shenanigans
by AuthenticAussie
Summary: A series dedicated to Zoro's adventures in an apartment block. He shares said apartment block with a half-gremlin, a weather-witch (and her personal storm cloud chef!) and a were-deer. Then a vampire by the name of Luffy comes to stay in Zoro's apartment, and if the human hadn't already thought his previous experiences were boring, he certainly would've after living with Luffy.
1. By the Way, Your New Roomate's a Vampire

**AN: Based off a prompt/request from Lollesblog for a vamp!AU. It kind of...evolved. **

**Into a monstrosity of a monster AU. Yeah. /sobs**

* * *

There's a vampire moving in next door to him and Zoro's not sure if he should be wary and unamused or irritated that his land lord literally went up to him and said, "By the way your new roommate moves in tomorrow. He's a vampire, so don't be worried when someone tries to break into your house at midnight."

The fact that the storm spirit then wafted away to shriek like a magpie over his weather mage probably contributed more to the 'irritated' than actually finding out about his new roommate, but as Zoro idly brushed his teeth and got ready for bed, he couldn't help but wonder curiously about who the shitty cloud had let stay.

Checking to make sure that he hadn't left anything to potentially harmful for the vamp lying around, Zoro clambered into bed and was fast asleep soon after.

At around midnight, there was a creaking noise from his window, and Zoro's mind forcibly poked him from sleep, making the young swordsman start to wake up. A soft humming filled the room, along with a very strange set of lyrics that didn't seem to have any rhyme or reason to them but to constantly reference meat, and Zoro's brow furrowed in confusion.

The blankets shifted, the bed dipped, and Zoro's eyes snapped open to focus in a glare, sheets pooling around his hips and brow furrowed even deeper. "_Why are you getting into my bed?"_

"Ah!" The figure cried, falling backwards with the blankets tangled around their feet. Zoro swiftly grabbed the edge before it slipped from his lap, trying to retain the cosy warmth, but he was fighting a losing battle. The vampire was struggling from the sheets and pulling them even further off the bed as he stood up and got in Zoro's personal bubble. "Bed monster, woah!"

"I take it _you're _my new roommate?" Zoro deadpanned look of exasperation went unnoticed by the vampire, and said vamp raised a hand to try and poke Zoro in the cheek, only for his hand to be slapped away.

"I dunno, does anyone called Marimo live here?"

"Stupid cook," Zoro mumbled, shaking his head with a low growl, "No, they don't. My name's Zoro. That stupid curly-brow downstairs calls me marimo."

"Ohh," the dark figure breathed, and there was a movement and a sound in the darkness, like they'd smacked their fist into their open palm. "That makes sense. I'm Luffy!"

Leaning over to his bedside table, Zoro flicked on the lamp, blinking to adjust his eyes and squinting a bit at the sudden change from darkness to light. "Uh-huh, great. I don't suppose you'd go and get yourself your _own _bed in your _own _room?"

Luffy, however, was eagerly looking around Zoro's room, almost puppy-liked as he stuck his nose into almost everything, curiously observing the posters on Zoro's room and 'oo'ing in fascination when he saw Zoro's sword cleaning kit.

Still groggy, Zoro merely watched the vampire flit around the room, utterly confused by Luffy's behaviour. Well, it gave him enough time to see what his new roommate even looked like, and as he watched the short boy jump from one interesting thing to another, he let his mind muse on why the vampire was even wearing a _hat._

And a strawhat for that matter. Why a _strawhat_? Vampires rarely went out in the sun. Horrific burns usually resulted after a few hours in direct sunlight, and any more than three for an average vampire would usually end in them bursting into ashes and then collapsing into a pile of ashes to be swept away later.

Luffy darted from Zoro's room to the living room and clattered around in there, sounding as though he were picking up furniture and then dropping it as soon as he'd lifted it above his head. _What _was he even _doing _in there to make that much racket?

"Zooorrooo," Luffy called from the other room, and Zoro gave a low groan, plonking his head back on his pillow and trying to pretend he hadn't heard the vamp.

Maybe he should've rethought living with a vampire...For one thing, vampires stayed up _all night. _And this one was quite obviously _loud, _or at least with no proper decorum towards other people trying to sleep.

"Shut _up_ you stupid marimo head!"

Well. Zoro felt a smirk curl on his features and he almost chuckled. Maybe this wouldn't be _too_ bad after all.


	2. There's Probably a Ghost Next Door

**AN: Possibly as a warning to anyone where ships are not your cup of tea, this is a developing ZoLu story, with a few hints of Usopp 'n Kaya in it, and Vivi/Kohza. VuV**

* * *

Saying that finding out a ghost had decided to haunt the room next door to Zoro and Luffy did not make Usopp very happy.

Not the least of because he was terrified of ghosts, but because Kaya had given him the place to take care of while she went to go deal with business overseas, and having a ghost take over the place wasn't going to be very easy to explain when she got back.

Thus, why Luffy was tearing off down the corridor and Zoro was meandering along behind, swords a comfort against his waist that he'd tried to argue he wouldn't need.

Considering most poltergeists would have tried to take off Luffy's head the second he charged into the room, and swords wouldn't do all that much against something that wasn't even solid in the first place, Zoro really wondered what Usopp wanted them to do against the haunting.

In his experience, if you left ghosts along they'd wander and haunt the place for a bit, and then leave when they were good and ready.

Waving vampire teeth or swords in their direction didn't really do much.

Still, he supposed he'd do something to appease Usopp, at least to get the Halfling to stop wailing outside his door, and the dark-skinned boy's chattering knees. Coming in the room behind the whirlwind that was Luffy, Zoro wasn't surprised to see that the vampire had already found the blue-haired ghost girl, whom was trying to avoid getting Luffy's arm poked through her middle.

Swatting the dark-haired boy's head and tipping his strawhat into his eyes, Zoro pulled Luffy away from the ghost before she decided to impale him with one of the continently placed lamps everywhere, and stated evenly,

"My friend wants you to stop haunting the apartment."

"I'm not dead!" She protested, and Zoro did have to note the lack of floating, glowy mist, or general drop in temperature usually indicative of a haunting.

"You're flicking in and out of reality," he pointed out, and indeed she was; through her form, he could see the window, but then she was completely solid, almost entirely visible.

"I'm _still _not dead," the blue-haired girl said, and Zoro tried to figure out some way to break the news to her without getting something getting thrown at his head.

Nope. Nothing was coming. Blunt approaches worked a lot, didn't they? "Why are you in here then? You're not exactly substantial, and you didn't ask permission to haunt the room."

The girl growled, pulling at her hair and revealing pointed ears, and she glared at the two. "I am _not _haunting this place! I just need to get out of here!"

"That's generally what ghosts want too," Zoro pointed out, and the girl gave a low groan, pacing across the room and mumbling softly to herself.

"I'm an elf! Even if I was to die, I would be reincarnated, not come back as ghost!" She said, stopping and folding her arms, face an expression of '_hah_!'

Luffy poked his hand through her, and the girl gave a high-pitched shriek.

"Luffy!" Zoro said sternly, and the girl scampered away from the two of them, glaring.

"Oh my _god!_" Her hands rested over her belly, trying to guard from any more poke-related attacks, and she shrieked at the two of them, "Don't do that again!"

Groaning at Luffy's behaviour, Zoro grabbed the boy's collar to prevent him from going near the possibly-ghost girl. "Look, there's a witch downstairs, will you believe her when she tells you you're dead?"

"I'm _not_ dead!"

Zoro nodded and turned, dragging Luffy after him, who was cheerfully waving at the blue-haired girl. She looked a bit stunned, still, and Zoro didn't think leaving the vampire with her would be a good idea.

"Nami there's a ghost upstairs who doesn't think she's a ghost, go do something."

"What do you even want me to do? I'm a weather witch, not a mage!"

Zoro shrugged, and Nami gave a growl, pushing past the vampire and the human, stomping up the stairs to go talk to their new 'guest.'

Luffy went to go attach himself to Sanji and try and get food, and Zoro went to the cabinet, filling up a glass of water and waiting until Nami came back down to see what was happening next.

"Right, so she's not dead," Nami declared as soon as she was back in the kitchen, and she ran a hand through her shocked-up hair, giving a light sigh. "But she's probably cursed."

About to open his mouth and say something, Zoro was interrupted as the girl fell in the middle of the kitchen table.

Quite literally, the middle of the table.

There were multiple sounds of surprise from everyone around the table, none so louder than the blue-haired girl, who quickly pulled herself from the middle of the table and tried to refrain from shivering. "That is so cool," Luffy breathed happily, staring at the girl in delight.

"Could you _not?_" Nami shrieked, her hand over her heart, and Zoro re-sheathed his sword, having automatically started to pull Wado from her sheath before he realised that there wasn't any danger.

The girl looked sheepish, staring at the wood of the table, a light red on her cheeks. "I apologise. I haven't really figured out how this all works yet."

Sighing heavily again, Nami flapped her hand at the not a ghost girl, and turned instead to the happy-wriggling Sanji and the other occupants of the kitchen. "Sanji, Zoro, Luffy, this is Vivi. She's the Elven Princess, and stuck in the apartment thanks to a curse from-," Nami paused and looked to the ghost – Vivi – a furrow in her brow.

"One of Crocodile's mages cursed me to get stuck a million miles away from my kingdom. I suppose this would be a million miles away." Vivi looked around the kitchen, observing the few utensils strewn around from Luffy's earlier attempts to get food, and she folded her hands in her lap. "I don't suppose you would mind helping me to get home? I will pay you, of course! I just wouldn't be able to find anyone to break a curse while I'm stuck here. I've already tried walking away, but I seem to end up back in that room..."

As soon as Zoro heard the word 'pay' he knew Nami would be sold on the idea of helping, if only to collect all the reward that Vivi would be able to offer as the princess of a kingdom. As it was, he truthfully didn't care, but seeing how Luffy's features had become exceedingly determined, he resigned himself to playing babysitter to the vampire and making sure he didn't accidently summon a curse-_maker _instead of a curse _breaker. _

Or, even worse, another lady like Nami.

There was a crashing sound, and the window above the sink crashed inwards, glass falling over Sanji as he quickly covered his head from the sharp shards.

Once again, Zoro reached for his swords, but was stopped by Vivi's delighted cry.

"Carue!" Vivi shouted joyfully, and the huge duck came and squished itself to Vivi, making squawking noises and alternating between nuzzling her and checking for any injuries.

"_A duck!?_" Nami screeched ear-piercingly, and while Zoro was wondering the same thing, he most certainly didn't appreciate his ear-drum being blown to pieces in the process.

Vivi's grin was wide on her features, and she indicated the duck happily, "This is Carue. He's a friend of mine!"

"Great," Nami mumbled, rubbing her forehead as though she knew what was coming next. "I suppose he'll be staying here for a while as well."


	3. Heartbeat of a Dying Man

_Kuina! _The name rested heavy on Zoro's tongue, but even as he tried to frame the letters in his mouth, they refused to move, clogging his throat with their weight. His bones felt like they were made of metal, and he the ten year old weakling that couldn't lift their burden.

Trying to drag his muscles forwards, fighting every inch of his body while he did so, Zoro forced himself to take a step, and then another, trying to reach his childhood friend before she tripped and fell.

He knew he wouldn't.

He never did.

The dream never changed – but this time it did. Instead of Kuina's familiar face, shock frozen forever on her features, he saw Luffy's bright grin, lighting up even further when the vampire noticed the swordsman.

Still, Zoro couldn't move his body. His vocal chords refused to work, and panic rested heavy in his stomach. He tried to stretch out his hand, tried to warn his friend to _move _but even as he did so he could see Luffy take a step, and like every other time he'd had this dream, the stair was just a millimetre to short, causing Luffy to trip.

And then he was falling, falling, falling, the ground dropping out from beneath him and Luffy a hair's breadth away but unreachable all the same, a glass wall between them both that Zoro couldn't pass.

Luffy started fading away in bits and pieces, first his strawhat, and then his hands and knees, parts of him vanishing to the darkness as Zoro tried to get closer and save the vampire from being taken from him.

Only his grin was left, a floating Cheshire smile that he tried to pretend was Luffy smiling at him in the dark, but even as he watched it started to flicker. The grin that Zoro was so enamoured with; Luffy's wide, open grin, never faltering for even the worst of times and _always_ _there-_

It faded away, leaving him all alone.

"_Luffy!_" He cried to the night air, waking up to a pressing weight on his chest and clammy, sweaty skin.

"Zoro!" Luffy shouted back, and Zoro barely had time for a 'what the fuck' moment before Luffy was in his face, worry in his gaze.

"_Ah_!" Zoro yelped, letting out a very (un)manly scream and accidently banging heads with the vampire, who pulled back, dazed.

_"What the hell Luffy!?"_

"Zoro, look," Luffy said, refusing to fall over or move even as his eyes unfocused for a moment, and he rested Zoro's hand against his chest. Unsure, exactly, of what the vampire was _thinking, _(although the weight on his body was certainly explained by Luffy's position) Zoro tried to reconcile his waking and dreaming thoughts, only the last vestiges of a panic-filled nightmare dripping through his mind in short images.

He could just remember that it was one of the ones he usually had about Kuina's death, but that certainly didn't explain why he'd awoken with Luffy's name on his lips – or why Luffy was even there at all, actually.

Forcing himself to pay attention to reality again, Zoro stared at where Luffy was keeping his hand trapped against his bare chest. "What, exactly, am I looking for?" Zoro asked dryly, raising an eyebrow and trying to tug his hand away (preferably to use it to move Luffy _off _him; the little shit was heavy.) but Luffy refused to relinquish his grip.

"I'm still here, Zoro." Zoro had been sure that Luffy only had two volumes; loud and louder. To hear him speak so quietly put a stop to any more sarcastic comments, at least for the moment. Even Luffy's tone had changed from his usual laughing speech, and now he was speaking in a serious, firm manner, refusing to be distracted. "Promise."

And Zoro wasn't sure that vampires even _had _heartbeats, but he could feel Luffy's, a steady and quiet pulse that he could just barely sense through his fingertips.

Feeling his own pounding heart rate slow incrementally as the moments dragged on, his meditation techniques helping him calm down, Zoro proceeded to sit up, Luffy happily gathering himself in the swordsman's lap. The vampire's serious nature had vanished into the air as soon as Zoro had calmed, leaving the green-haired human to wonder if it had even been there at all, and Luffy's usual grin – while a little dim – was still back on his features.

Zoro refused to admit how comforting that smile was.

Luffy was about to disentangle himself from their position, ready to go back to his own bed, as he (probably? Possibly? Zoro was never sure with this guy,) realised that Zoro probably wanted to get some more sleep, but before he could realise he was doing it, Zoro's palm dug in slightly to the vampire's chest, trying to hold him still.

Flushing in embarrassment, Zoro quickly pulled his hand off Luffy's chest, but Luffy's light laughter and hand chased his own, tangling up their fingers and pressing their palms together.

"Can I sleep in here tonight, Zoro?" The vampire asked innocently, as though he weren't asking for Zoro's own benefit, as though he weren't asking it to save Zoro's pride, and Zoro felt a grateful sort of relief build in his chest that Luffy could understand him even without words.

"I don't care," the swordsman muttered, tugging his hand out of Luffy's grasp again, and the dark-haired boy rolled off him with a happy laugh, stealing the other side of Zoro's tiny single bed and half the blankets along with it.

Lying back down and curling his arm under his head (as Luffy had stolen the pillow and Zoro wasn't one to argue and get it back, not when Luffy was already giving him a favour,) he mumbled, "G'night Luffy."

"Goodnight Zoro! Sweet dreams," he chirped back, and even though the single bed was way too small for them, and Luffy's back was icy cold and pressed against his own, leaving very little space for his arms, Zoro found he didn't mind to much, the comfort of having another body pressed close sending him off to sleep soon after.

(Zoro woke up at around five the next morning, when Luffy proceeded to kick him and then shove him off the bed. He resolved not to sleep in the same bed as Luffy anymore, just to save his skull from getting slammed into the bedside table. One concussion was enough for the month, thank you very much.)

* * *

**AN: Reviews are very much appreciated, if you'd care to leave them. VuV**


	4. The Bed is On Fire

Realising that he had feelings for Luffy was a bit like running into a brick wall. At one point, his mind was perfectly happy strolling along, completely ignorant of anything coming up ahead or following him behind, and even as the first inklings of realisation started tickling his mind, Zoro instead choose to ignore them, going a bit faster to try and pretend that he wasn't growing to attached to his friend. He occupied himself with extra night shifts hunting down rouge spirits and calling them into the Supnaturalists, and spending more time before and after his sword fighting class with the kids he taught, running through self-defence techniques.

Then came the night of Ace's stay. The day itself had gone quite well; picking Ace up from his charter boat and greeting the members of Luffy's brother's crew hadn't ended in disaster, and Ace had gotten along well with Zoro. Seeing the two brothers together, excitedly chattering away and catching up on everything that they'd missed while apart had made a funny sort of smile pull Zoro's features, and a sort of tingly feeling run from his gut to his spine and around to his fingers.

Maybe he had food poisoning.

Thoughts of food poisoning were put on hold as Sanji made a veritable _feast_ for the group, taking the night off from running his cafe, and Vivi managed to keep a hold on her ethereal form and stay all the way until dessert came to the table. At that point, she started flickering in and out, and Sanji assured the blue haired girl he'd bring her food up to her room. While it did dampen the ruckus and joyful storytelling of before, Luffy suggested that they all move up to Vivi's room to eat dessert and the conversations picked up again soon enough, everyone happy to deal with the slightly packed arrangement.

Ace and Luffy were the last of the group to retire for the night, Zoro just having gone to bed before the two, and he could still hear them laughing and talking quietly in Luffy's room, making him smile as he started drifting off to sleep. Sure, he wouldn't appreciate it tomorrow night, when he was exhausted, but for tonight just the quiet sound of Luffy's happy voice the room over was enough to lull him to dreamland.

Until Luffy started yelling like mad, and Ace began to swear profusely.

Jumping from his bed in a panic, Zoro quickly grabbed Wado and sprinted from the room, almost clipping his knee on the couch as he threateningly brandished his katana at...

The bed?

The _flaming bed_.

"_What the hell did you guys do!?_" He shouted, thoroughly confused, and shocked enough to wave his blade around in exasperation.

"Zoro!" Luffy yelped, quickly attaching himself to the human and narrowly avoiding getting himself impaled, "Ace was talking and then I was talking and then Ace was telling an angry story and then his arms started sparking which was cool but then the bed got set on fire which-" pause, breath, wave of hands that would've hit Zoro in the head, had he not narrowly dodged the flailing limbs, "wasn't as cool because it's on _fire. _Zoro, help!"

Understanding about three words from Luffy's rushed babble, 'bed,' 'fire,' and 'Ace', Zoro resolved to never let Ace near anything flammable. Ever.

As the bed fire was currently a higher priority than trying to figure out exactly what had happened, Zoro sprinted from the room, Luffy still determinedly attached to him, and dropped his sword on the table, grabbing the first thing he could see in the kitchen that could possibly help with putting out the fire. It turned out to be the fruit bowl, which he dumped the fruit out of and quickly filled with water, before grabbing the spaghetti pot they hadn't cleaned from a few nights ago and shoving it at Luffy. "Fill this up and then come throw it on the fire!" He ordered, pulling the vampire off him.

"Where the hell are the sprinklers?!" Zoro shouted angrily to the floor, pounding his foot on it a few times for good measure as he raced back to Luffy's bedroom, and he heard a thump from what was probably Sanji falling out of bed and hitting the ground.

As soon as he ran into the room he chucked the water over the bed, but as no sizzling sound met his ears, he turned and stared at what had previously been a bed on fire.

Hearing Luffy thump up behind him, he side-stepped the vampire and let his head drop in his hands as the boy threw the nearly empty pot of water over his brother. Ace was standing sheepishly – and now dripping wet – next to the charred remains of Luffy's previously brightly coloured bed.

"I got it out," Ace said, as though it weren't already obvious, and Zoro resolved never to stay near the pointy eared fire imp when he was angry, unless said fire imp realised that whatever he was near was starting to smoulder and smoke.

A loud pounding came at the front of the door, and as Luffy went to go apologise to Ace, laughter in his voice, Zoro shouted, "I'm coming!" and headed for the door. Opening it – and almost receiving a kick in the face that was likely meant to open the door before Sanji stopped himself, - Zoro looked out to see the concerned inhabitants of the building.

"Ace set the bed on fire," Zoro said in explanation, rubbing the bridge of his nose, "And get the damn sprinklers fixed, would you, you shitty cook?"

Tired beyond belief from the scare, and seeing that everyone wanted to press for details, he shut the door in their faces and sighed. Rubbing at his forehead again, he made his way back to Ace and Luffy, whom – while looking a bit wet in Ace's case, and a bit tired in Luffy's – hadn't sustained any injuries, thankfully.

"So," Zoro started as soon as he got back, "I want to know what happened but I'm exhausted so I don't really care."

Ace's sheepish expression returned, and Zoro continued, regardless. "How you expect to find some other place to sleep is beyond me. Do you want to take my bedroom? I'll go and sleep on the couch."

"I couldn't take your room!" Ace exclaimed, raising his hands, "I'll go sleep on the couch."

"Oo, Oo, can I sleep in Zoro's room? It'll be a sleepover! Or we could all fit in Zoro's room, right?"

"Where would we all _sleep?_" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow at Luffy's logic.

Luffy looked downcast for a minute, pouting slightly, but as Ace gathered up the slightly charred but still usable pillow, he attached himself to Zoro's arm and batted puppy dog eyes at the swordsman. "I can still sleep in your room though, right Zoro? I wanna have a sleep over!"

Feeling his cheeks heat, the green-haired human quickly looked away from Luffy's puppy-dog eyes and assured himself that he wasn't exactly giving in because he wanted Luffy to stop looking so sad, and he most definitely was still very manly no matter how red he could feel his ears getting, or the tingles that once again started racing through his arm.

Food poisoning, obviously.

Had to be food poisoning.

"_Fine_," he groused, seeing crocodile tears gather in Luffy's eyes and a whimper heard from the other, and the vampire cheered, sprinting off to probably steal Zoro's bed. A rueful sigh and a smile flickered across Zoro's features, and he rolled his eyes, bypassing the kitchen to pick up his sword before heading back to bed.

Ace watched him go, an appraising, thoughtful look on his features.

* * *

Zoro was right; Luffy _had _stolen the bed. Kicking the vampire (and stealing his blankets back while Luffy whined at him) helped Zoro feel a bit better about sleeping on the floor, and Luffy sprawled himself under the sheet, snoring lightly in a few minutes. Zoro would've probably just shared the bed, had he not previously seen exactly what Luffy did while asleep. Wriggle around like a worm, take all the blankets, kick anyone within a foot-wide radius, and somehow end up on every square inch of the bed possible.

Making himself a semi-comfy nest on the side away from the door – where Luffy wouldn't tread on his face if Sanji decided to cook breakfast for them and the vampire sprinted for the door – Zoro plunked himself down on the floor.

_Stupid Luffy, _he thought to himself with a snort, remembering how the teen had tried to chatter his ear off with stories during dinner and then completely rushed through his explanation of why the bed was on fire, and instead of the usual irritation Zoro would feel when dealing with those who made stupid mistakes, the green-haired swordsman was confused to feel a fond sort of smile and laugh threaten to show themselves to the world.

_Well that made sense_, he thought, purposefully distracting himself from thinking to deeply about that feeling,_ they __**were**__ friends._

But did friends really not mind when their bed was stolen? Most of them might not've, but Zoro wasn't most people, and being friends with him wasn't like being friends with anyone else. He called Usopp, Vivi and Chopper (and even Nami and Sanji, loathe as he was to admit it to their faces,) his friends, but he'd probably never let them take his bed if there was space on the floor.

So why would he let _Luffy _get away with it? Luffy was easily twice as annoying as Usopp, unbowed by the glares Zoro would send his way, and purposefully distracting like Chopper never was. So _why _did Zoro hang around him? Why did he let Luffy attach himself to Zoro like a limpet, when the swordsman rarely let anyone get close enough to hug him half the time?

Why did he let Luffy distract and tease and annoy and touch him, without ever getting truly angry or irritated by the younger man's behaviour?

Zoro had made it a point to never lie to anyone, and his own mind was no exception to this rule, no matter how much he kind of wished that he wasn't as blunt and insulting to himself as he actually was.

So, with those questions buzzing around his mind, he found his mind answering, as blunt as he always was in real life_; because you __**like**__ him, you brainless idiot_.

_And not just as a friend, before you try and delude yourself. You don't let Chopper and Usopp – your __**friends **__– get away with __**half **__the stuff you let Luffy get away with. _

_You like him – a __**lot.**_

"Oh," Zoro breathed, a whisper to the silence that wasn't even a proper sound as it was the breath leaving his lungs, and he took another breath to steady himself, rolling over to see where Luffy's knuckles grazed the floor.

_Shit, _he swore mentally, scrunching his brow and trying to pretend that he hadn't just come to that realisation, but the more he thought about it, the more he came to realise that it just _fit. _

_Shit, _he thought again, _shit shit shit, that's not good._

He wondered if it'd feel like a punch to the gut when reality hit. It certainly felt a bit like that now, as a traitorous part of his mind whispered _if you tell him about it, he'll probably not want to be your friend. Remember how awkward it was for you when Johnny did it? Remember how you couldn't look at him without thinking about what _he _was thinking about you? You lost his friendship because of that. What if you lost _Luffy's _friendship? _

And it came as a surprise to feel how much that prospect made his chest feel hollow and _empty_.

Falling apart was easier than fixing things again; Zoro knew that like he knew the steady beat of Luffy's heart underneath his open palm, and even as he tried to think of ways that it would make sense, that he could try and see moments where it was possible Luffy would be attracted to guys, he knew he was just fooling himself.

Even if Luffy had never shown any interest in girls whatsoever, he hadn't shown any interest in _guys, _either.

He'd talk to Luffy about it. He wasn't a coward...

He'd just-

Wait a bit.

He'd just see if Luffy would be opposed to the idea first.

After all, he didn't have to say anything Luffy right away, did he? Luffy could always just admit _he _liked Zoro first – and, considering how horrible the vampire was at lying or keeping secrets, if he even (or ever) liked Zoro, he'd probably blurt it out in two seconds after realising.

Plan made, Zoro nodded to himself and forced himself to turn over before he did something embarrassing like count the freckles on Luffy's arm, or try and touch the other's hand and feel the calluses he knew rested on Luffy's fingertips and palm. Still, his mind buzzed, and his skin felt jittery, a sour feeling in his mouth even though he'd cleaned his teeth hours before.

He didn't get much sleep that night.

* * *

The morning after (and oh god he definitely could've phrased that a better way, thank you ever-so-much brain,) was spent awkwardly trying to pretend that absolutely _nothing_ had changed.

It was a less than stellar plan, Zoro realized, especially after Luffy crammed into his usual spot on the couch, everything from his shoulder to his knees pressed close and comforting to Zoro as they ate their breakfast. It took all he had not to involuntarily stiffen, and even as he tried to fight the urge to gain even an extra centimetre of space he felt unnaturally stiff. Forcing himself to relax didn't help either, as his relaxed pose wasn't so much relaxed as it was the pose of a dead man realizing that; _'I'm probably going to be set on fire shit shit shit.'_

Why was it that now he'd realized his less than platonic feelings for his friend he could barely stand to be within five feet of Luffy without thinking of how Luffy's mouth would feel stretched into a grin against his collarbone, or the tingles that raced up his arm from their touch?

And _why, _exactly, did he have to realise them while Luffy's extremely overprotective, fire-wielding _brother _was in the damn building!?

Ace cast a suspicious glance from Luffy to Zoro, brow furrowing as though he were trying to work something out, and Zoro felt like bashing his head into the table and letting out a few sobs to help relieve his tension. If that wouldn't have made Ace even more confused and suspicious he probably would have done it, too.

Luffy continued chattering away, completely oblivious to Zoro's growing disconcertion and attempts to stay looking unconcerned, and Ace's perusal of the human in a series of semi-glares and appraising glances.

The next few days were going to be_ torture._

("Nice dinosaur boxers, by the way," Nami sniggered at him when the three finally went down to go out for the day, and Zoro groaned, trying to remember if he saw that damn woman carrying a camera with her when they were all woken up yesterday.)

* * *

Ace cornered him before he was getting ready to leave, and the imp's posture was more than enough to tell Zoro that he was screwed.  
_  
'Goodbye world, it was nice knowing yah. To Nami I leave my debt, because she can pay herself back.'_

"You," Ace started, folding his arms over his chest.

"Me?" Zoro cursed his mouth for even opening as Ace's expression became even more threatening and cross-looking.

"Yes you, who else would I be talking to?" Wisely, Zoro kept his mouth shut this time, and Ace coughed into his hand politely, reschooling his features into something less threatening and more reminiscent of a psychopathic mobster. "If you want to date my little brother you're going to have to pass some tests first. Fighting tests. And also thinking tests because Luffy doesn't do very much of that sometimes."

"What." Zoro said, completely flabbergasted.

Ace paused, before a look of pure embarrassment came onto his features. "Wait, so you _don't_ want to date Luffy? Oh well, sorry for mixing up your intentions. W-O-W I misread the signals in there."

"No I mean why is _this_ your reaction? _Are you not concerned or anything!?" _His voice held more confusion then he would have liked, and a panicky note entered his tone. "How did you even tell, I _literally _just figured it out a few days ago!"

Ace comfortingly patted him on the shoulder, because they were friends, and then proceeded to punch Zoro in said shoulder because he was an older brother and decorum decreed he must. "Luffy can take care of himself, if you try anything he doesn't like. Besides, he may be oblivious and impulsive, but he's not _that _stupid. Anyway, I was honestly waiting more for you to ask me my blessing to date him then you having _just_ having figured it out, haha."

Zoro glared, and Ace patted his shoulder again, shit-eating grin on his features at Zoro's expression. "If it's any consolation he probably likes you too. Also you're pretty cool so I don't mind you dating my little brother."

A firey finger pressed into his nose, and Ace's eyes crackled with sparks, his glare almost as deadly as his flames. "But if you hurt him I swear I'll hunt you down and light everything you have on _fire_. You will _never_ be safe from me if you break my little brother's heart, you got that?"

The sprinklers went off.

Ace and Zoro yelped as they were doused with a spray of cold water, and as Ace's flames fizzled out the fire alarm began to blare. "_OUT_!" Ace screeched, quickly sprinting for the door, and Zoro ran after, trying to be heard over the noise.

"DID YOU HEAR ME?"

"WHAT?" Ace screamed back, fingers plugged in his ears as he ran.

"I SAID OKAY!"

"_WHAT_?" Ace shouted again.

"I SAID," Zoro repeated, "I PROMISE NOT TO HURT LUFFY!"

Ace shouted something back, and Zoro leaned in to try and hear him better. "WHAT?"

"OKAY THEN!"

Coming into the open air, both breathed a sigh of relief, and Ace began to pat himself dry, finding the least wet patch on his clothes to dry his hands and then heating himself up. Zoro, on the other hand, just shed his shirt and began to wring it out. Their little group was soon joined by a trickle of the others; Usopp sprinting out with a wail and Nami directing (ordering, it sounded more like) Sanji to do something. Luffy, completely uncaring of the sun – and any other danger as he always was – was dragged out laughing by Chopper, the poor med student looking to be fighting the urge to rear and buck.

Ace didn't mention anything more of the conversation, and Zoro was thankfully a bit glad; he wouldn't have really appreciated it if Ace had tried to continue the discussion of his '_feelings' _with everyone else nearby.

Although, if Ace had seen it in the three days he'd been staying with them, maybe the others had seen it too.

Now _that _was a sobering, terrifying thought.

The amount of _blackmail _Nami must've gotten on him. Zoro shivered, and was thankful that to anyone watching it probably looked like he was cold from their sudden shower.

Ace had gone to apologise to Nami and Usopp, bowing his head and explaining what had happened, and although Usopp started to lord it over him, a quick punch from Nami stopped that in its tracks. Zoro wandered away to join Luffy and Chopper, firmly telling himself that it most _definitely _wasn't because he was a lovesick fool and wanted to get closer to Luffy.

He just wanted to give Chopper a hand. Luffy wasn't exactly the best rider when the deerboy _wasn't_ in a panic, and although that probably was _most _of his reasoning, he couldn't fool the part of his mind that sounded suspiciously like Nami, cackling away in his head, and the stern voice of Kuina, telling him not to be such a thick-headed and blissfully ignorant fool.

_Damn witch,_ he thought, as Luffy chattered excitedly away about how he'd been hanging out with Chopper and Usopp when the fire alarm and the sprinklers had gone off, and weren't sprinklers just _awesome _it was like being in the rain or having a shower but _indoors._

Zoro conveniently didn't mention that most people _did _have showers indoors, and then very firmly told his brain to stop staring at Luffy's water streaked hair, plastered to his face, or the wide grin he was sporting, despite the weather conditions or the evacuation that everyone had just gone through to escape the building.

_Tell him now,_ his brain suggested, like it'd been doing for the past few days, and Zoro firmly told _that _part of his head to shut up as well.

_I'll tell him when I'm good and ready, you got that? _Thankfully, his brain seemed to take his short-fused hint, and shut up for a little while to listen to Luffy talk, letting the words wash over him and not even fully concentrating on what the vampire was saying, brain a bit foggy from his lack of sleep.

Since they couldn't replace Luffy's bed right away, (the scattered pieces of a bed frame on the floor in Luffy's room, along with many memories of all the men in the apartment cursing like sailors,) Ace, Luffy, and Zoro had alternated between sleeping arrangements, and Zoro hadn't been getting much rest, especially after his realisation of the days before. Sure, he was used to it from his second job, but it sure didn't make it any easier on him.

He may have _told _himself not to act any different, or that he wasn't going to think about his friend any different, but applying that in theory was easier than applying it in real life.

In fact, he'd suffice to say that it was probably only his stubbornness at this point that was actually causing all the problems, as one part of his head argued against telling Luffy, one argued for, and one part argued for completely ignoring the incident and sticking his fingers in his ears every time the other parts of his head even thought about his crush on Luffy.

As the part that told him to get over himself and just _tell _the vampire sounded suspiciously like Nami and Kuina, he was quite firmly listening to the little voices that argued against saying anything – ever.

Maybe if he ignored it for long enough, it'd just eventually go away?

Zoro gave a snort, rolling his eyes. Even Luffy wasn't stupid enough to believe that, and Luffy had believed at one point that Vivi was a whale.

A _whale. _

Realising that Luffy had been talking to him and had now stopped, a hurt look on his face, it occurred to Zoro that he probably shouldn't have made any outward indication of his thoughts at all, especially considering that Luffy now sported a very heartbreaking expression that made part of Zoro's heart shrivel up a bit.

So much for ignoring it. If his heart did things like that every time Luffy looked even remotely sad, he was totally screwed.

He swore mentally, trying to figure out how to amend his mistake, but Luffy had already turned away to Chopper and now refused to be talked with, ignoring Zoro's attempts at remaking conversation.

(Chopper, stuck in the middle of the two, adopted a very panicked, awkward expression, unsure of how to handle the situation.

'Help,' he mouthed at Usopp, who very firmly shook his head 'no'.

Chopper almost started crying then.)

* * *

**AN: -whispers- I had to I'm sorry. Thanks to JustFabulous and MealdWine! I really appreciate your reviews. ^w^ **

**Also, in answer to your kind of(?) questions, Meald, No, most vampires don't run into people's rooms at night. Luffy got the wrong room, and thought that he was in the room Sanji'd shown him a few nights ago when Zoro was at work. Zoro was asked to deal with Vivi but Luffy'd never seen a proper ghost before, and he thought it'd be a cool adventure to go along! Zoro's only seen a whole bunch of ghosts because, in addition to teaching at the local dojo, he does some work in his spare time with a branch of the police force called the Supernaturalists (if you've ever read Eoin Colfer's book of the same name, you'd know where I got the name from, ahah). While in the normal police force you can have a mix of mages, witches/warlocks/wizards, supernatural creatures like vampires/werewolves, elemental creatures like fire imps and elves, and humans all bundled up into one building, the Supernaturalists ****_only _****deal with threats of a 'Supernatural' kind and were originally established around 1789, when humans first started treating any 'other' creature with suspicion and distrust. This order under it's old rules was dissolved in 1998, but later came back in 2003, 'under new management.'**

**Now they work on helping relocate spirits, and generally deal with any 'rouges', like vampires who don't go to the butcher to get their blood, or werewolves who don't have control of themselves during the full moon and attack humans. Zoro helps them out sometimes, because - although he's human - he ended up accidently grabbing some cursed swords, which help against powerful evil spirits. They don't usually work on ghosts, unless said ghost is an angry poltergeist, and they'd really only do a normal amount of damage on a vampire like Luffy, but if there was a rouge around, his swords would do a lot of injuries against it.**  
**Especially Wado, as that was the one sword blessed instead of cursed. Kuina's will kind of haunts it.**  
**laughs it's totally both pff.**

**Mm, well for me writing from Zoro's pov is sometimes easier than Luffy's pov? If I was going to phrase this as an actual chaptered proper thing than I'd probably go deeper into characterisation, Luffy's history, Nami's work, Usopp's history, and all the rest of that, but as this only started out as a teeny-tiny tumblr prompt, the fact that it's 10k and I still add to it in headcanons and ideas isn't that helpful. I was practicing continuing a story from one character's pov, as well, which is why it's like this. I mean, I would really love to go into a lot of depth and string this into a massive saga of romance and ridiculous shenanigans but I simply don't have the ****_time? _****Plus, I'm working on another huge project that's already hit 20k, and I don't want to publish anything from it till I'm finished which means that I'm trying frantically to get it done. In addition to that, I love romance stories but I don't really fancy myself as a romance ****_writer. _****I'm practising, and I ****_will _****get better at it, but as of right now? I'm just sticking to my silly one-shots and adventure sagas, haha.**

**In terms of their jobs! **

**Sanji owns a café a few blocks away, but also handles Usopp's apartment in terms of fees and things, because Usopp's usually really busy trying to invent things or attend his numerous university courses. Usopp's studying a major in mechanics and architecture, but than is getting a minor in advanced physics, art, and he recently took up the second semester of communication and thought, to help him with public speaking. Sanji mainly goes down to the café to cook and fawn over ladies, but will usually stay at home with Nami, who makes weather spells. Nami also does castings and she goes to carnivals and festivals and things and does demonstrations of her magic. She also gets hired a few times every year for long voyages on ships to help predict the weather, and that gives her a huge amount of money, as there aren't that many weather witches around, and none that are as good at Nami.**

**Luffy actually works half-an hour a way, but being a vampire and all makes it really hard for him to keep normal hours. Of course, because people have been living with supernatural creatures for years, most have adjusted to that and Luffy works night shifts for anyone who wants to come in at night, but most vampires are treated with a lot more distrust than any other creature, because of their dietary needs. Luffy pretty much just has his meat more raw than the rest of them do, and eats a lot more of it too, haha. He did used to work as a boxer, which he liked a lot more, but he got kicked out after he got turned. He's fine with his job now though! He likes teaching people how to box, or help them get fit.**

**Chopper is a med student! The little bitty weredeer is an intern with the Dr Law at the hospital, and also studies at the same uni Usopp goes to. That was how Chopper ended up staying with them, actually; Usopp was paired with Chopper on Chopper's first day to help him round the uni, and found out Chopper was going to be loosing his apartment, so Usopp offered the room next to his. (also Zoro and Sanji'd started getting into more fights, so Usopp thought bringing home a doctor would be a fantastic idea.)**

**In order, they moved in like this; Usopp, when Kaya gave him the place to look after, Nami, because she thought it was nice and Usopp let her grow tangerines on the lawn, Sanji, after Nami summoned him to help her out with spells and things, and he figured out that Usopp's apartment was actually closer than his own to the little café that he ran, Zoro, who hid there for a few hours one night after he was chased by a Wraith, and then decided that he'd quite like having a doctor around to patch him up whenever a supernaturalist gig went south, and then Luffy!**

**And Usopp ****_would've _****fixed the bed, had he not been busy studying, and had they actually thought to ask him.**

**Kaya's a half-dragon, half-dryad, and runs numerous charities around the world with the fortune her parents left her.**  
**Ace is a fisherman! The crew he sails with also do cruises and runs a charity program where kids can learn sea skills and the rest of the stuff you need to survive on ship.**

**I really really loved your reviews though! They were absolutely fabulous and amazing and I was grinning like an idiot as I read them all, thank you so much! ^w^**


	5. Christmas-Related Nonsense

**AN: TBH I rather see some of the strawhats (or at least Zoro) celebrating Hanukah or other holidays like that more so than Christmas, but I totally support Luffy wanting to celebrate both b/c days of presents and then one big day for gifts? Yes please. **

**Of course, Christmas was just a bit simpler to do for this, so I stuck with that. Also there's one more chapter after this. ^u^ /And possibly a spin-off or something with Vivi? Probably not, ahha. VwV**

* * *

"Last time I ask _YOU_ for a favour!" Nami screamed from downstairs, the door slamming loudly, and judging by the yelps of the wizard on his way out, she'd probably slammed it on his ass or electrocuted him while he was leaving. Zoro would have sniggered at her anger, but honestly he was getting a bit fed up with everyone claiming they could free Vivi and then not delivering on their promises.

This last guy had been a bit of a perv as well, leading to Nami chucking him from their doorstep before he'd tried anything else. While usually Nami would have sucked it up and used it to her advantage, the Mage hadn't even been able to do anything, and she was at the end of her fuse as Christmas drew ever closer.

Everyone in the apartment was feeling the stress, in fact. This year was the first they were celebrating with Luffy, and while that was no big deal, _no_-_one_ really knew what to buy him.

Oh sure, he'd be happy with anything but everyone (Zoro especially,) wanted to get the grinning boy something special, and choosing presents for the others wasn't exactly easy either.

So on top of the usual Christmas present stress, they had to deal with the knowledge that unless they got Vivi free - and soon - Crocodile was going to take over her kingdom, and the elf girl was going to be stuck in the room forever.

Vivi's mood, as time went on, grew worse and worse. The girl was constantly trying to leave the apartment, managing to get outside before she started looking lost and flickering in and out of focus, and then she'd immediately vanish, appearing back in the room.

As the city came to life with mistletoe and lights, Christmas decorations hanging from the trees and cold settling over the streets, Vivi's own light started fading away.

And then Nico Robin came to stay.

Zoro decided from the very moment that he didn't like her, but Luffy had somehow gotten everyone (including him, though he wasn't going to admit it, or if he did, he was going to blame it on _feelings_ rather than just Luffy's irresistible charm) wrapped around his little finger, and so she stayed.

Of course, the fact that she was a mage – and a curse-breaker, at that – probably convinced everyone else. (Except maybe Sanji. The shitty curly brow was probably taken in the moment she walked through the door.)

Interlacing her fingers on the table, and gazing at everyone gathered around her, unaffected by the few glowers and suspicious glances sent her way Nico Robin looked every inch the noted scholar she claimed to be. "Curse breaking such as this is relatively easy. It would simply be a mid-level reversal spell along with a castor spell to prevent any more curses on her until after – Christmas, did you say?"

"What do you want us to pay you?" Nami asked with narrowed eyes, already trying to see the downside of Robin's admittedly fantastic deal. Zoro crossed his arms and levelled another glare at her, but was soon distracted moments later by Luffy's happy chuckle in his ear, and the vampire waving around a beetle he'd found.

Of course _that _dissolved the kitchen into a panic.

Zoro was insanely glad that Nami and Sanji had proceeded to half climb each other in an effort to get away from the bug, because it meant that he could then hide the fact that his cheeks were burning. Luffy's laughter only intensified at their reaction, and Nico Robin hid a smile behind one delicate hand.

"Go put that outside," Zoro ordered, pointing to the door, and with a pout Luffy headed outside, still merrily carrying the beetle in one hand. This did not please Sanji or Nami, who glared at him venomously as he ducked out the door.

"I would like the room, if it's not too much trouble," Robin stated evenly, smiling pleasantly at Nami, who looked confused for a moment before re-gathering her wits and smoothing her shirt, firmly pushing away Sanji.

"The-?"

"The room that your cursed princess is staying in, please. It has quite a lovely view, and it seems to be very interesting staying here." Robin's grin widened incrementally, and Zoro was _sure _that her eyes flicked over to Luffy, who'd just entered completely _covered _in mud. Zoro groaned, unsure about _how _Luffy managed to get himself so dirty in such a short amount of time but sure he didn't want to know anyway.

"I'll just go up and get started then," Robin stated, pushing herself away from the table and grabbing her staff from where it rested. Making her way up the stairs as Nami scolded Luffy for traipsing mud inside, Zoro glanced from her to Luffy, before following after the curse-breaker to make sure that she didn't try anything to hurt his friend.

As soon as she got in the room, Vivi started shrieking, and Zoro was insanely glad that he'd followed along. As footsteps pounded up the staircase, he drew his sword and held it against Nico Robin's throat, the tip resting against her Adam's apple.

"My, I wasn't expecting _this _reaction," the dark-haired mage said, eyeing the blade with almost no degree of worry on her perfectly calm features. "Honestly, spells are very unreliable sometimes."

Vivi, pressed as far into the corner as she could go, had her chest rising and falling like a rabbit's – much too fast to be safe.

"Vivi?" He heard Nami ask in concern, but he refused to take his eyes away from Robin, the woman obviously dangerous.

"What'd you do to Vivi?" Luffy demanded angrily, and Zoro's eyes flicked over to the vampire standing next to him.

_Nope! _This was _not _the time to be getting distracted.

Robin sighed heavily, purposefully letting her staff clatter to the floor and nudging it away, and only then did Zoro lower his sword from her throat, though he didn't sheathe the weapon."_I_ haven't done anything."

"She works for Crocodile!" Vivi exclaimed, face white as a sheet, and both Luffy and Zoro glared even more at the mage.

"_Worked_, your highness. As you can see from the lack of bond charms, there have been quite a few broken promises lately." Robin indicated her sleeves, and while Zoro had no idea what 'bond charms' were, Vivi's panicked expression calmed somewhat, her chin lifting.

"Prove it, then."

Robin smirked slightly, as though she were waiting for this very moment, and the curse-breaker held out one palm, which she absently twisted, revealing a blue circlet that Vivi obviously recognised, judging by her surprised gasp. "Kohza sent me from Alaburna to give this too you. He told me to tell you that Pell and Chaka miss you very much, and that the dungeons aren't very comfortable."

Vivi's eyes widened, her mouth dropping open slightly, and her voice was low and heart-breakingly quiet to Zoro's ears. "The dungeons?"

Robin nodded, a serious expression replacing her smirk, and Vivi swallowed before standing, her back ramrod straight. "Well then, curse-breaker, let's see you break this."

Zoro felt his brow furrow, and as he glanced to the others, he could see their own expressions mirror his hesitation.

"Vivi," Chopper started, worry in every word, "Are you sure?"

Vivi cast him a comforting smile, giving his head a pat, "Of course Chopper! What sort of princess would I be if I couldn't handle a little magic from time to time?"

The were-deer sniffled, and everyone knew that Vivi was avoiding the real question; _are you sure you want to trust her?_

Standing again, gaze hardening, Vivi spread her arms and waited. Watching Robin suspiciously - though he knew next to nothing about magic and would have a hard time figuring out if she were casting another curse - Zoro watched as gold and light pink blossom-like sparks of magic bloomed along Robin's arms, crackling in the air.

Mumbling unheard words beneath her breath, Robin raised her arms and flexed her fingers, the magic she wielded dancing along her forearm to solidify Vivi. The princess looked stunned for a moment, clenching and unclenching her hands, and when she didn't fall through the ceiling, Zoro saw a massive smile erupt on her face. Luffy leapt forwards to give her a hug, but the swordsman reacted quickly, grabbing the vampire before he could accidentally interfere with the spell.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" Vivi cried, waving frantically at the others as she began to fade again, but this time - unlike all the other times when Zoro could see the wall through her - he saw desert sand and golden walls surrounding her instead. "Please come and visit me sometime! We'll have a feast, I promise!"

"Goodbye Vivi!" Luffy shouted back to her, jumping up and almost falling from Zoro's grasp had the swordsman not quickly adjusted his grip, "Get your kingdom back and bring me some meat when you come and visit us again!"

"Be careful Mellorine!"

"Stay safe Vivi!"

"Please be careful Vivi! We'll miss you!"

Their farewell babble blended into each other, with Zoro only just distinguishing them from one another, and it only died down as Vivi finally finished fading, the whorls of magic on Nico Robin fading along with her.

There was a moment of silence as everyone stopped, unsure of what to do next, and it was Robin who broke the silence, brushing off her sleeves to get rid of any remaining sparks.

"I don't suppose I can still keep the room."

* * *

While the topic raised much debate amongst the other inhabitants of the apartment, it was Luffy who put his foot down and firmly said that they promised Robin the room if she got rid of Vivi's curse. As she'd done that, it was unfair of them not to let her stay.

Nami, faced by the surprisingly sensible logic, had folded soon after that, Sanji following his weather witch's lead and everyone else conceding a few arguments later, leaving only Zoro to oppose her stay.

"I don't trust her," Zoro muttered, but folded anyway, knowing that the majority ruled.

* * *

A few weeks after that came Christmas, and by that point Zoro was half exhausted from dodging mistletoe wreathes. While they certainly did have a few last year (they lived in a house with _Sanji,_ how would they not?) it seemed as though every doorway in the apartment had been decorated this year, and Zoro was _not_ pleased.

Even more so when he realized that Luffy had absolutely _no_ concept of looking up before tackling Zoro, and while he usually did appreciate Luffy's clingy nature, at this moment, however, he cursed the very thought that had ever made him start liking the vampire.

For one thing, in the months since Ace had come to stay - and the weeks after Vivi had left - he'd been dropping pretty blunt hints and flirting with Luffy; but Luffy had never reacted in any way other than his normal grin or laughter, or potentially in confusion when Zoro said something that he could only just remember from ages ago.

(Case in point;

"Hey Lufe, how many letters has the alphabet got?"

"Mmm," Luffy shrugged, not even bothering to count on his fingers, "No idea! Why?")

Trying to figure out the romantic intentions of a _tree_ might have been easier.

In addition to his inability to figure out if Luffy liked him or not, it seemed as though _everyone_ in the apartment had it out for him. They'd purposefully made him hang up mistletoe the first week they did Christmas decorations, and while he did the first few without complaining, the ones after started making him extremely suspicious.

Especially after Luffy kept getting sent to wherever Zoro was by Nami or Sanji. (And now _Robin _was getting into it as well, for God's sake.)

The first few times he'd been lucky enough to be taking a break when Luffy waltzed through the door, but on the last time, he'd just starting climbing off the ladder when Luffy bounded in, almost knocking him over.

"Five second's kiss please, dearies!" A happy - and for some reason, London-accented - voice came from above them, and Zoro honestly felt a bit like laughing hysterically.

He was meant to be _avoiding_ doing anything to jeopardise his friendship with Luffy, not going around getting stuck under mistletoe with him!

The vampire looked curiously at the mistletoe, brow furrowing just slightly, and waved his hand underneath it. "Does mistletoe usually do that, Zoro?"

_Agh_, he was being cute again. Distracting himself from thoughts of strawhatted vampires (and their inherent cuteness,) Zoro glanced at the mistletoe.

Though death-glared would've been a better way to describe it.

"It's charmed, Luffy."

"Five second's kiss, please!" The mistletoe repeated again, and Luffy laughed, squishing Zoro's cheeks between his palms and lightly kissing the surprised human before he could blink.

Alright, this wasn't exactly how he envisioned kissing Luffy (Zoro would much rather have preferred it to be less ridiculously innocent and more him surprising the vampire,) and quite honestly he felt like a fish, cheeks thoroughly squished by Luffy's hands, but considering the amount of times he'd actually thought about kissing Luffy, actually _doing _it was so much_ better_.

Luffy's hands were cold against Zoro's cheeks, but Zoro could feel the heat that rushed through him warming up his skin with flutters and _warmth _and it felt so _nice _to have Luffy close to him that Zoro never wanted their kiss to end.

"Is that okay?" Luffy said, pulling from Zoro and glancing up at the mistletoe, and with a certainty he could feel in his bones, Zoro knew that Luffy had stayed as oblivious as ever, and had probably only kissed him because he thought that was the _rule _when it came to getting stuck under mistletoe.

It didn't hurt, realising that.

Not even a little.

(But maybe a lot.)

He refused to hang up anymore mistletoe after that.

* * *

**AN: Damn it still feels so weird not to reply to reviews individually. Hehe, Thanks to JustFabulous, Churroko, BlantantBookworm (whispers, I see you found me ^w^) and Nezkov Sou for your awesome reviews! -double thumbs up- I totally love all you guys, just so you know. Your reviews make me super happy! :3**

**Also, to Nezkov Sou: thanks for pointing out the lines! I'll go and fix those up. In terms of explaining the world in my ANs, however,**** and the general pacing of the fic - it's not meant to be an actual story. The first of these started as a drabble, and I just ended up continuing it in a drabble-like fashion, which is why the pacing is so weird and wonky and stuff (the same goes for my other chaptered fic, Honey, Your Aspies' Showing; it has weird pacing due to it being a drabble series). The general drabbleyness of the chapters, as well, is why I can't really explain everything in the actual 'chapters' of the story. If I was doing it as a proper story, I'd include it in the actual text, ****but as I explained to MealdWine the chapter before, my goal with writing this was just to practice relationships and things, and only really includes a few snippets from their general lives. :3 **


	6. Wooing a Brick (aka, Luffy)

The week after that, they celebrated New Year's. It's a bit more subdued than it should have been, the loss of Vivi and Carue still a familiar ache that stayed nestled close to their hearts, but like Luffy said; they'd see her again, and she was needed back at her kingdom.

University broke for the holidays, and after having Usopp spend all day holed up in his room studying and regretting not being home to say goodbye to their friend, his sudden reappearance left Zoro with more time to himself, as Usopp relished his freedom from studying by constantly getting Luffy to play video games with him. The vampire happily agreed on the days when he wasn't half-asleep from a long shift the night before at the gym and Zoro used the time he's free of hanging around Luffy to go and get presents, fighting through the crowd of late Christmas shoppers with a few muffled curses and strategic jabs with his elbow. Sanji bakes like someone possessed, treats for his cafe and for Nami and the New Year's party she's decided to host.

Said party takes place after they all hand out presents from Christmas, (Zoro's got an extra three pairs of socks in his closet that he's pretty sure he's never going to use, but then very quickly lose when he _does _end up taking them from the drawer) and is a boisterous affair, a good portion of their neighbours showing up at some point during the night to join them. Nami's friends – a group of crazy, happy-go-lucky sailors who all smell like tangerines and have pinwheels attached to them for some reason – join sometime around eleven and don't leave until two the next afternoon, but they all bought alcohol with them, which meant that in Zoro's books, they were pretty okay.

Ace couldn't come, already out to sea on a voyage, but he sent Luffy down some tickets to see a new boxing match that Zoro had been roped into attending, and Zoro didn't have anyone close by to invite, so he spent most of the night nursing a drink and studiously avoiding any of the mistletoe hung in the doorways.

At around eleven thirty, just after Nami's friends had all arrived and the party was in full swing, Zoro was hiding out near the back of the apartment.

Well, not hiding exactly. More like, 'avoiding any place Luffy was sure to be'. Knowing Luffy, the vampire'd get excited by something and drag him off to see what it was, getting him stuck under the mistletoe in the process. He _wasn't _having that happen. After their last kiss, which left Zoro unable to spend more than five minutes with Luffy without red beginning to turn his cheeks into a replica of a fire truck, and a near-constant tingle on his lips that made him subconsciously try to touch them whenever he even _thought _about Luffy, he'd decided that it'd probably be better to just-

_Stop _for a little while. Even if the space wouldn't help him get rid of his crush, it would at least help him forget about their kiss, or at least tone down his hyperactive thoughts a bit and let him actually spend time with Luffy without constantly over thinking.

Of course, he should have expected he'd get found by one of his flatmates eventually. Robin was the one to find him, and while that was all fine and dandy – she wasn't as bad as he'd first thought her to be, and she hadn't done anything awful so far, so he'd decided to trust her for now – what happened after she arrived was not.

Zoro had taken up refuge in a doorframe he _knew _was free of mistletoe, using it so he could keep an eye on both rooms and duck into one or the other when he spotted Luffy anywhere near him, but he double-checked it as Robin came closer. Just in case she magically sprouted Luffy from somewhere.

Good. Still clear.

He sent her a nod as a greeting, and Robin gave him small smile back, eyes dancing with mischief. Zoro's eyes narrowed slightly at her look, and the slow niggling of suspicion tickled the back of his mind.

Coughing politely, Robin pointed her finger to the door frame above Zoro's head, and when he looked up, Zoro's expression dropped into one of complete horror. Looking back to the Mage with no disguising his panic, he quickly scooted out from under the doorframe...  
Only to have the mistletoe follow him.  
At that instance in his life, Zoro fully regretted that Chopper was within hearing distance - as he would have gladly let out a few choice swears. As it was he settled for glaring venomously at Robin, who only chuckled innocently, still holding her glass of cider.  
Strolling closer - though far enough away that she couldn't get caught with Zoro under the mistletoe - Robin asked, "You look a bit in trouble there, Mr Swordsman. Are you having any difficulties?"  
Zoro's glare intensified. Robin's smile got bit wider.

God did he _hate _this woman.

Having already discovered what Luffy did when met with mistletoe, Zoro had fully attempted to avoid going through any doors without checking them first; obviously Robin had decided to scrap _that _little plan by charming the mistletoe to follow him around.

He'd been staying _away _from Luffy in a vain effort to try and get over his stupid crush, but that plan was also a bit of a failure, considering that they lived in the same apartment. And now, with mistletoe stuck over him, he was really regretting not getting drunker...Or at least regretting ever meeting Nico Robin.

Giving her another vicious glare, he stalked off, intent on hiding in his room until the spell wore off. Maybe Wado would work in slashing it to bits. Hmm, there was a plan to consider.

Making his way through the crush of people on the bottom floor of the apartment and the clusters on the stairs and second floor, Zoro managed to get to his apartment without accidently getting stuck under the mistletoe with anybody who'd taken more than their fair share of booze. He just _knew _that the stupid plant would cheerily chirp out his doom as soon as he got caught under it with someone, and he wasn't looking to try and do that to himself.

Sighing in relief as soon as the door closer behind him, Zoro headed for his room to find his sword, completely missing the footsteps that'd followed behind him the whole time, the music and his mumbled curses covering the minuscule noise.

Just entering his bedroom, he heard the door open and familiar footsteps enter the slightly quieter area, and his whole body stiffened involuntarily. _Oh **no, **_Zoro thought in desperation, trying to pretend that the owner of the footsteps _wasn't _the one person he'd spent almost all night avoiding.

"Zoro! I was looking for you!"

_Of course it had to be him, _Zoro cursed, feeling his heart start to race, and turned around to see Luffy quickly making his way over to him. "Ah, Luffy don't-!" He quickly shouted, holding his hands out in front of him and feeling panic scour any remnants of tiredness. "Look, Robin cursed some mistletoe to-,"

He didn't get to finish the sentence, the cherry voice of the mistletoe interrupting him with the same order it had last time; _kiss._

_Not again, _Zoro thought, heart stuttering to a painful stop in his chest, and his blood ran cold. _God, not again. **Why? **What am I meant to do? He just keeps- And he obviously doesn't-_

Zoro felt a sick sort of feelingfill him, curling his stomach and making his shoulders bunch up as Luffy cheerfully kissed him, lips pressed against his own, noses bumping and squished.

And Zoro let him; just for a moment. Just for a second, so he could pretend; so he had the memory of Luffy's slightly chapped lips pressed against his own to remember. His eyes felt like there was a burn gathering at the edges, and before he could let it go any further he forced his arms up to shove Luffy away, skin buzzing with how _sick _it made him feel.

Zoro was just using him; just trying to catch the taste of something he couldn't have. Luffy didn't feel anything back. He _couldn't_ have. He was as see-through as a pane of glass. If he'd had any feelings for the swordsman, than Zoro would've figured them out by now, _surely_! 

"Will you just _stop it?_" Zoro exclaimed angrily, desperately, feeling something choke him, a dead weight crushing his heart, "You don't _like me _so why the hell do you have to keep kissing me!? I _hate_ it! I hate it!"

"You don't _care! _Well you know what Luffy, I do. Fuck- I-" His hands, unable to rest, combed through his hair, dragging the neat strands askew and tangling around a knot that he forcibly pulled to distract himself from the look of heartbreak on Luffy's face. "_Goddamnit _Luffy, I care way too much, okay!?"

Wait.

Heartbreak?

"You don't _kiss_ people you don't like!" Luffy said crossly, his own arms hanging by his side loosely, but he still fastened a glare on the swordsman, looking at the green-haired man like he was an idiot. "_Honestly_ Zoro!"

"Like-," Zoro's mind was frozen, stuck on what Luffy said, and even though he knew how crushing it would be when Luffy told him that he was just that affectionate with everyone, he couldn't stop himself from hoping. He swallowed, forcing the words out. "Like how."

Luffy's ears were turning slightly red, and the vampire mimicked Zoro's movement from before, running a hand through his hair and messing up the black stands. His hand rested on the back of his neck, and Luffy's eyes skittered to the side, unable to meet Zoro's gaze. "Like _like-like_."

Yep. There it was.

Zoro's brain was completely stuck.

"Zoro?" Luffy asked, worry colouring his tone, and he took a step towards Zoro again, the mistletoe cheerfully announcing his presence in the circle that was 'kiss approved'.

Zoro felt his lips twitch, and he couldn't help it; his mouth slowly spread into a wide grin, happiness bubbling in him like someone had carbonated the contents of his chest and set it loose in his body.

Luffy's worried look vanished upon seeing Zoro's grin, and with his own happy beam he leapt at the human, tangling his limbs around Zoro's like he usually did. Zoro yelped at the sudden movement, stumbling backwards with both the surprise and the added weight, and he hit the side of his bed, tripping and falling unceremoniously and heavily onto the sheets.

The close proximity made his heart race again, Luffy's limbs pressed against his own, but he was still frozen as there was a second of stillness. Zoro almost breathed a sigh of relief, before there was a quiet creak and-

_CRACK!_

The bed collapsed.

Two loud cries of surprise filled the air, both Zoro and Luffy yelping as they went from a few feet above the floor to suddenly dropping into the wooden remains of Zoro's bed, but Luffy's laughter filled Zoro's ears, and even though he was winded and in pain from Luffy landing on his stomach, Zoro couldn't help but grin and start to laugh too.

"I guess we should have expected that!" He managed to say between chuckles, breathlessly happy, and Luffy nodded his agreement, laughing too hard to even speak.

"Oy, Zoro!" Nami called from the front door, and even as Zoro struggled to sit up, he could hear a splintering sound that was probably Sanji kicking the door in.

Even as he tried to stop laughing, and muster annoyance at having the door to their apartment broken to pieces, Zoro could barely manage to catch his breath.

Clomping feet tore through their apartment, and Sanji, Usopp and Nami all crammed themselves into Zoro's bedroom door, staring at the broken remains of Zoro's bed and the two on top of said remains. Robin hung around the back, smile hid behind her open palm, and she twisted her hand secretively, mistletoe vanishing in a tiny swirl of pink blossoms.

There was a moment of silence, before Nami did a fist pump and crowed excitedly.

"Finally!" Nami exclaimed, seeing the two of them tangled up in each other's limbs, "I thought you'd _never_ get over yourselves! Now everyone can stop dealing with your stupid romantic tension, and all the hearts you pop everywhere when you see Luffy, Zoro."

"Oh come on!" Zoro exclaimed, blush turning everything on his face a blotchy red, and Luffy laughed even harder, holding his stomach and trying to breathe.

"In Zoro's defence," Usopp butted in, shrugging slightly, "Romancing a rock would probably have been easier."

Sanji snorted, lighting up a cigarette, and Zoro would have snapped at him to not smoke in his room if he wasn't already trying to stop blushing furiously. "I don't know, he had _plenty_ of opportunities."

_"WILL YOU ALL GET OUT?_" Zoro exclaimed, cheeks now as red as Luffy's favourite shirt. Luffy waved at them, and laughing to each other, they trickled from the room.

Aching from his impact with the floor – while cushioned slightly by the mattress, he'd still smashed heads with Luffy and didn't have any crazy vampire super-healing to deal with people landing on him – Zoro sighed and heaved himself up, Luffy firmly staying attached, even as Zoro tried to poke him off.

All that got was laughter from Luffy, as Zoro poked at one of his ticklish areas, and feeling a smirk inch on his features, Zoro proceeded to commence tickling Luffy, the younger man squirming like crazy to try and get away from Zoro's hands, and loud laughter filling the air.

Yeah, this was pretty good.

Catching Zoro's hands in his own, getting the green-haired man to stop his tickling assault for the moment, Luffy kissed Zoro softly, the pressure sweet and soft, and Zoro could feel Luffy's grin against his lips.

Life was pretty good.

* * *

**AN: Sanji, Nami, Robin and Usopp ****_maayyy _****have been waiting outside the door for any indication that Luffy and Zoro had finally stopped dancing around each other and just ****_kissed. _****They were more so expecting the two to come out holding hands than the loud crash, but hey. At least their suffering was over with!**

**Thanks to BlantantBookworm and JustFabulous for your _fabulous _reviews! -waggles eyebrows- I'm kinda sad to see this AU pretty much finished, and ****I feel like I could have written this a bit better, but I'm not the best of the best when it comes to romance writing, and I'm pretty proud of actually finishing it! VnV I hope it lived up to everyone's standards! Thanks so much to my loyal reviewers, who dropped by every chapter to give me encouragement and reviews, you guys are the best! 3**

**I don't think I'll be posting anything for a little while, as all my 'writing time' is currently pretty much all dedicated to a _huge _One Piece AU that's so far hit 19k and is still going to get bigger, but if you wanna drop by my tumblr, AuthenticAussie, I always have my ask box open for requests and prompts! **

**Thanks again, so so much for sticking with me! You guys are all totally great! -huge hugs- **


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